Bangkok is Hard on the Soul.

First, let's just take a moment and realize how incredible U2 is not just for making beautiful music, but the sheer fact that they released an album secretly to the world for free.

Thanks, boys. It's great hearing you again.

This week I started my new job here in Bangkok and it's been wonderful.  I have two amazing bosses who have welcomed me into their home as one of their own and made a way for me to join them in their ministries.  It is a lot of logistics, finances, scheduling, meetings, and ministry, which is all time consuming, but so much fun.  

However in the midst of this great new job, in a great big city, there is so much heartache.  Things that I now know I have been oblivious to for so long.

Last week I had my first real encounter with sex-trafficking.  

Some friends and I had met up to go out for dinner and we were walking down a soi (street) that had about ten bars full of men watching and buying women.  

I'm talking about seeing line-ups of women holding signs that say how much they cost in front of every bar; people falling over each other because they're too drunk to stand up; and the distinct aroma of the sewer seemed fitting for the place we were walking through.

I have never become physically ill by just by looking at my surroundings .  Well, now I have.

As wonderful as it is to be here, it is also very challenging.  One minute I'm having incredible curry on a plastic table next to bustling traffic, then I can count seven beggars as I am walking two blocks home.  Two of them children no older than six.  And across the soi is the old red-light district ( old as in there is a newer one on the other end of town, but this one is still up and running) where people are literally throwing money away.

I am sure this sounds so extreme, but I assure you that it is the reality of Bangkok.  It is extreme.  So much poverty.  So much prostitution.  So much brokenness. So much gambling. So much darkness. 

The last few days have been heavy on my heart. But one taxi ride with Carter began to help things roll into motion.   I threw all of my thoughts onto her about the heaviness of this city and she described it in a way that I couldn't put together before, but now it made so much sense to me. "Bangkok is hard on the soul." Yea. Exactly.

Carter, Cara and I all have the same weight on our hearts. We are not alone.  Oh my goodness what a comfort.  I am so thankful for meeting women who have the same understanding of this city, the same heart that wants to see it change; for their friendship and willingness to have a broken heart.

"I was running down the road

The fear was all I knew

I was looking for a soul that's real

Then I ran into you

And that cherry blossom tree

Was a gateway to the sun

And friendship, once it's won

It's won, it's one

...and a heart that is broken 

Is a heart that is open." 

Cedarwood Road - U2