Interstellar Sunflowers
It's been quite some time since I've posted anything. Partly because it's a little intimidating being in a foreign country with so many incredible people all recording amazing things they're doing. Partly because I don't think it wise to write out everything for the public. But mostly because I don't really know how to put anything into words that has happened. Because a lot has happened.
New job. New place. New adventure. New friends. New time zone. New fears. Same Hope. Same questions. Same apathy. Same desires. More questions. More uncertainty. More opportunities. More lessons. Same fog.
I wrote a couple months ago about this fog in my life in York. Like I could never see something for what it was without extreme criticism or questioning - which makes it really hard to enjoy anything. But once I left York for a mini- trip to Michigan, the fog was gone. I could think clearly again.
The same is for Bangkok. Same same but different, as they say. It's a similar fog that clouds my thoughts and judgement, almost like it makes me harder and more critical to everything around me. The moment I leave, the fog is gone.
I like movies. (In case you've never talked to me). And I love dialogue. (In case you've never talked to me). I thoroughly enjoy movies that provoke thought through song, or poems which was most recently appreciated through Nolan's incorporation of a Dylan Thomas poem in "Interstellar."
Seriously. Ok. Hopefully this will connect.
I just took a day trip up north yesterday to Lob Buri with my mother to go find this field of sunflowers. I knew I needed to get out of Bangkok, but the fog was so heavy all I wanted was to just hide away in my room. But we went. Even though it was 5:30 AM it was a joy to drive out of the city. Once we arrived there we quickly hopped in the bed of a truck provided for us to use as our own personal ride to the fields.
As I sat in the back looking up into the bluest sky, seeing mountains all around and smelling someone's barbecue, I could feel myself coming back. My mind was flooded with memories of riding around the mountains of El Salvador with Juan and his family; a distinct smell from Ecuador; and the feeling of being known by someone you love. Joy.
When we pulled up to the fields we were awestruck. Thousands upon thousands of sunflowers every where we looked.
There was a bamboo swing in the middle of one of the fields that I sat in with the sunflowers and just basked with them. As I looked at them I noticed how for acres I could see them all facing the sun. Their petals open and stretched out, their heads held high - looking up.
One close by was different though - droopy, dying, losing its color. The head of this sunflower was turning brown because it couldn't feed off of the sunlight.
It sounds so elementary to connect nature to faith, but sometimes I need faith to be easily understandable not theoretical. And He knows that.
But do you see how He allows us to see simple examples of what living for Him means for us?
Do you see it?
When we lose sight of what truly matters; when we start to look at what's right in front of us; when "we just look down and worry about our place in the dirt," we fade.
We carry the burden that's not meant to be ours. Our heads become heavy. We get droopy.
There's no fight left.
But. When we keep our eyes focused on the Son; when we look at Him who is able to keep us from falling; when we "look up at the sky and wonder at our place in the stars," we rage against the darkness, we shine like stars in the universe.
New job. New place. New adventure. New friends. New time zone. New fears. Same Hope. Same questions. Same apathy. Same desires. More questions. More uncertainty. More opportunities. More lessons. Same fog.
I wrote a couple months ago about this fog in my life in York. Like I could never see something for what it was without extreme criticism or questioning - which makes it really hard to enjoy anything. But once I left York for a mini- trip to Michigan, the fog was gone. I could think clearly again.
The same is for Bangkok. Same same but different, as they say. It's a similar fog that clouds my thoughts and judgement, almost like it makes me harder and more critical to everything around me. The moment I leave, the fog is gone.
I like movies. (In case you've never talked to me). And I love dialogue. (In case you've never talked to me). I thoroughly enjoy movies that provoke thought through song, or poems which was most recently appreciated through Nolan's incorporation of a Dylan Thomas poem in "Interstellar."
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
I just took a day trip up north yesterday to Lob Buri with my mother to go find this field of sunflowers. I knew I needed to get out of Bangkok, but the fog was so heavy all I wanted was to just hide away in my room. But we went. Even though it was 5:30 AM it was a joy to drive out of the city. Once we arrived there we quickly hopped in the bed of a truck provided for us to use as our own personal ride to the fields.
As I sat in the back looking up into the bluest sky, seeing mountains all around and smelling someone's barbecue, I could feel myself coming back. My mind was flooded with memories of riding around the mountains of El Salvador with Juan and his family; a distinct smell from Ecuador; and the feeling of being known by someone you love. Joy.
When we pulled up to the fields we were awestruck. Thousands upon thousands of sunflowers every where we looked.
There was a bamboo swing in the middle of one of the fields that I sat in with the sunflowers and just basked with them. As I looked at them I noticed how for acres I could see them all facing the sun. Their petals open and stretched out, their heads held high - looking up.
One close by was different though - droopy, dying, losing its color. The head of this sunflower was turning brown because it couldn't feed off of the sunlight.
It sounds so elementary to connect nature to faith, but sometimes I need faith to be easily understandable not theoretical. And He knows that.
But do you see how He allows us to see simple examples of what living for Him means for us?
Do you see it?
When we lose sight of what truly matters; when we start to look at what's right in front of us; when "we just look down and worry about our place in the dirt," we fade.
We carry the burden that's not meant to be ours. Our heads become heavy. We get droopy.
There's no fight left.
But. When we keep our eyes focused on the Son; when we look at Him who is able to keep us from falling; when we "look up at the sky and wonder at our place in the stars," we rage against the darkness, we shine like stars in the universe.
(I am in this field.)
There is never fog in the presence of the Son. I could feel the clarity of His presence in your writing. "Let His face shine upon thee"
ReplyDeleteThat was beautiful. I needed the reminder. Thanks
ReplyDelete