As Times Go By

JerBear and Millie have known me since I was about 4 years old and have adopted me as their own grand-daughter - for which I am extremely thankful. I want to share with you my final visit with Millie, but first a little back story. For my sixteenth birthday, I had a blessings shower where many women who had been investing in my life were to bring a symbols of God’s goodness and share the story for which that symbol represents.  Millie’s symbol were two dozen pink roses.  I remember her handing them to me, looking me in the eyes and thanking me for praying for her grandchildren when I was a young girl in their Life group.  I was sixteen years old. And I respected Millie so much, yet she was thanking me for something I did when I was a child.  I still have her pink roses dried in a glass jar on my dresser. A few weeks ago I went to visit JerBear, Millie and Sandy.  And now it was my turn to thank Millie. JerBear let me sit, talk and pray with her and I had brought her a do

One thing I've never been lacking in is emotion. Lord knows I have enough to bestow onto an entire country and their next generations, and it ranges as far north as from south.   So any situation that arises, by brain explodes and quickly comes back together to create some of the most ridiculous scenarios it will ever hear. I was about to make a list of just today's crazy rationals, but as I began to I realized that they all have something in common. 1. They are all about me.  2. They are all about my relationship status. Is that what I've become? Someone whose entire world is defined by who they're with? I so badly want to say no. That's all my mind has been focused on.  I can hardly figure out who I am or what I like because my mind is so engulfed in being alone.  Which only recently started scaring me. So let's figure this one out.  Why am I so eager to be in a relationship? Because I don't want to be the crazy cat lady that die