As Times Go By

Today I met up with one of my favorite ex-Starbucks customers: tall decaf Jody.   She's one of the most stylish ladies I've ever met.  Full of spunk for life!  (If anything should happen to me, Jody gets my scooter, Stella). Anyways, she and I got together very early this morning to catch up on our lives and as we are sharing I was just taken away with how special our friendship is.  I had been serving her and her husband (tall 1/2 caf dark roast, Jake) for a year before I even knew they were married. (They would come in at different times of the day).  It was so fun getting to know them individually over the years and then as a couple, getting dinner together and giving scooter rides and running into each other just about everywhere. I love friendships like this.  I love when different generations bond. And then, wouldn't you know it, but in the middle of our conversation, grande decaf Cheryl comes walking in!  "Who is grande decaf Cheryl?" you

This past weekend I went on a road trip with my best friend from college.   She always finds such fun activities and places to explore, so from the start I knew it would be a blast.  This venture took us to Toronto Canada for the Toronto Urban Roots Festival. A glorious eight hour road trip full of snacks, tunes, stories, plans, laughs and bare feet.  Steph is an incredible travel buddy.  If you ever need one...well, I'm sorry, she's mine! Spontaneous decisions seem to turn out much better than expected with Steph. It feels as though we've been gone for two weeks, but it was really only about four days. Four days of amazing performances by Wilco, Of Monsters and Men, The Avett Brothers, Cake, Passenger and so many more - but NOT Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. No. Just. No. There was a little Harry Potter thrown in there too. So how could it not be amazing? On Sunday, I turned 25.  A birthday that at one point was a thrill of a thought quickly became daunting.  J

I'm taking my mom to JFK tomorrow. I drove my dad last week.  I remember a time when it really bothered me when they left, especially through college. That was really challenging. Not to say that I won't miss them or am glad they're gone, but it's just gotten easier.  It's the norm now. And isn't that strange? My family members are so different from each other. We've grown up and all have our own lives, passions, drives etc. but we come together well (insert Amy Poehler and Paul Rudd). It has been such a blessing to have my parents home and see the joy in their faces as they take on two more grandchildren.  I mean, come on! Have you seen those kids? They're adorable. How could you not be elated to spend as much time as possible with them? It's hard to believe I have two nephews and a niece now.   It's hard to believe that almost exactly a year ago I was moving to Bangkok.   It's hard to believe I fell in love and lost.  Th

The other day a friend asked how I was doing in the kind of way where you completely believe they deeply care about your life and it's happenings. Refreshed by the genuity, I gratefully explained the most recent hurdles and challenges.  They allowed me to have a great introspective moments of my life where I could see both sides.  I had one of those looking-out-the-window-and-understanding-the-meaning-of-my-life moments where some things became more clear. And when I turned back around, it all crashed down. They were on their phone nodding along to what I was saying. Now, I know I don't say the most groundbreaking things all of the time that brings people to their feet,  however I was still shocked. Even hurt a little bit. My response was to immediately stop talking and just finish up my sentence and move on.  I stopped sharing. The rest of the day, and even when I woke this morning, I couldn't help but feel a little conflicted. Yes, I was bothered by the fact t

A third of the year is gone and so much has happened, it's hard to believe it's only been four months.  New continent. New job. New scooter. New people. New pain. Tonight my heart is heavy and fearful, anxious and confused. Sad. I'm tired of being brave, of being strong. Because after so long, I'm weak and tired and need time to recuperate.  Tonight I let it out. I cried like I haven't cried in ages.  I wept. I prayed. I cried out. I yelled and swore and cried some more. Until I just sat there, crying and telling Him how much it hurts to be rejected. How much it hurts to be vulnerable, exposing who you really are only to find it isn't acceptable. And what is that, if not my biggest fear? I don't think I've ever had my heart broken like this before.  It hurts. And it doesn't feel like it's going to be okay. I know it will. Mind over matter. Something like this makes a girl wonder though - - - can it really happen again? I'm not so

There's always that moment for me before Lent where I evaluate the areas I wrestle through in my life that could use more discipline. Like many people my age (at least I don't think I'm on my own in this), I watch way too many movies, drink too much coffee, spend too much time on my phone, eat food that's bad for me etc. But the biggest vice I could see was how often I let other people make choices for me.  Not that I let them orchestrate my every move, but I've realized how often I go to people for advice/affirmation/choices.  I'd say it's part laziness, part uncertainty, a dollop of an overwhelming amount of choices and a dash of fear of failing. The day before Lent started, I remember wearing one of my favorite scarves that had a loose string.  I pulled said string and it came off.  I just started wrapping it around my ring finger until it stuck, and I left it there until today as a reminder to not let people choose for me. It sounds so silly, doesn&

Here I am.   I was over there, but now I'm over here. Crazy how that happens.  Plans change.  Surprisingly enough I'm completely okay with these change of plans. I've been back in good ol' YoCo for exactly two weeks now. I've been greeted well by friends, family, ex-customers, the flu and strep throat. I think I've been coherent for four days - putting actual words into sentence form that have valid reasoning behind what my life is at this moment. If we've chatted and it's been nonsensical, I apologize. Try me again. I prepared myself to come back to York; to answer all the questions; to tell stories and explain myself. In my thought process flying over one of those big oceans, I remembered, I don't need to explain myself.  That's something I've always struggled with.  Explaining myself.  Defending myself.  I come from a family of opinions.  Hold your own. Speak up or get spoken over.  Not in a mean way, we're all just really pass

About a week ago  Sunday I was in Philadelphia having a last night of fun, food and loads of laughs with some of my siblings before I left three days later for who knows how long. As I was sitting at the counter my phone kept going off one after another from people who graciously care about my flights possible inability to take off due to the impending snow storm that was about to his the east coast. Storm Juno. I immediately got on the phone and called the airport and got a hold of my airline asking them about cancellations and possibly rescheduling my flight. She asked for my information to which I gave it to her and waited. I heard this sort of annoying huff in the phone as she told me that they are only worried about those flying out that day or the next. I will be fine. Don't worry. Bye. Basically, thanks for wasting my time and being paranoid about a flight that isn't going to happen for three more days and will not be affected by what's happening now. Do you kno