Change Gonna Come

I'm taking my mom to JFK tomorrow. I drove my dad last week. 

I remember a time when it really bothered me when they left, especially through college. That was really challenging. Not to say that I won't miss them or am glad they're gone, but it's just gotten easier.  It's the norm now. And isn't that strange?

My family members are so different from each other. We've grown up and all have our own lives, passions, drives etc. but we come together well (insert Amy Poehler and Paul Rudd).

It has been such a blessing to have my parents home and see the joy in their faces as they take on two more grandchildren. 

I mean, come on! Have you seen those kids? They're adorable. How could you not be elated to spend as much time as possible with them?

It's hard to believe I have two nephews and a niece now.  

It's hard to believe that almost exactly a year ago I was moving to Bangkok.  

It's hard to believe I fell in love and lost. 

Things change.  

Plans change. 

I remember a boss I had a few years ago (who I never thought really liked me) gave me a review and her first complaint on her very long list was that I don't do well with change.  I laughed very heartily in my head. 

If only she knew. 

I suppose we all deal with change and individual situations in our own way.  

For instance: when my parents were gone the first Christmas in Bangkok, I sat in my house knitting and watching movies for ten days.  No complaints. Now I have an amazing afghan, but it was slightly depressing. 

Most change that happens in my life I can generally roll with.  

I'm an optimist; able to convince myself that whatever situation I find myself in, there's bound to be something beneficial.  

The problem arises when I lose the ability to see.

When the excitement of "the new" fades and becomes an unattractive reality.

I think I've bounced back well from all that's happened this year.  Though saying I've "bounced back" is misleading as I am not the same person I was. Some events took longer to recover from than others, but I have learned so much this year.  I want to be careful and use what I've learned to go more places that scare me, risk more, love with intent.

It's a balancing act between facing life boldly and waiting responsibly.  

//I was born by the river in a little tent 

Oh, and just like the river I've been running ever since

It's been a long time coming but I know a change gonna come.//

Sam Cooke