As Times Go By

This has been the longest week I've had in a very long time. A lot went down. A lot of frustration. A lot of tears. A lot of confusion. A lot of time fighting the lies that so easily creep into my mind unchecked. I thought the length of the week was over when I got on my next flight but it wasn't. Lots of texts and phone calls with family members to find out some tough news about a loved one; flying with zero access to information made those flights take days to land. On my last leg of my flight to Indiana, with tears filling my eyes, a tired body and mind, I just kept praying and thinking " I want more time to make it better." My family is interesting. Lovely people. But completely disconnected. And as someone who is so fueled by people, I hate that. I've been trying to rekindle deeper relationships with my extended family little by little. And news of my grandfather's stroke shook me. "I'm not done. I want to know more." Is all the

Colorado continues to feel more and more like home to me. And for that I'm extremely thankful. It feels like it's becoming my own. That's a really nice feeling to have so soon. This weekend I really missed back East.  The red fall leaves, cold rain and sitting on top of my roof with a hot cup of coffee.  More than that I was really missing my brothers. I don't think I've missed them that much ever. There's just something about those spurts of laughter that seem to last forever; those epic meals and cocktails shared and fought through; random thoughts, spontaneous singing and hugs.  Those big brother hugs where you can't really breath because they're three times your size but you let it go anyways because they're some kind of wonderful. I miss it all.  They've got their families to care for though.  Times have changed in so many wonderful ways and there are these gorgeous new additions to our family that I can't imagine life without now.  T

I love birthdays.  I've had some epic birthdays full of 'happy birthday' songs being screamed so loud, making me laugh so hard I can hardly breath, meaningful cards from close friends, outings on the town, tattoos, dancing, toasts, hugs etc.  And I never really though birthdays would be the same when I moved to Colorado, at least not for a few years until I made good friends and established myself. It can be nice to be wrong sometimes. Today was wonderful.  Primarily filled with food, but a bit more than that, it was filled with people.  From so many different circles. My day was filled to the brim with well wishes through snapchat, instagram, texts, Facebook, voicemails, video messages, FaceTime calls, decorated office, songs, drinks, cake, fellowship, cards, gifts, and dinosaurs. My last guest just left my apartment and when I shut the door I was just in awe of today. I can't believe I have such kind and wonderful friends here in Colorado that would come over on

Anyone who has talked with me in the last year or so has probably sat and listened to one of my detailed (and sometimes lengthy) dreams.  Many mornings I wake knowing every detail immediately and am able to scribble them down.  Occasionally it takes a day or two for the dream to come together but is eventually clearly remembered by a remark someone makes or a conversation that's had. Well, this week has been like most in that I wake up with Ingrid batting me in the face and my first waking thought is "What are they putting in that Colorado water?" Tuesday morning I woke up differently than most times.  I was just sad. Like Holly Golightly's "Mean Reds" - where you're sad but what's worse is you don't know what you're sad about.  I had a case of the Mean Reds and I had not idea why.  It took some time throughout the day to figure it out but then in my personnel meting at work my entire dream came flooding back. And here it is: A dear frie

It's hard to believe it's been a solid month of officially living in Colorado. A solid month of new introductions, organizing my apartment and office, finding new spots to be a 'regular', new commitments, new friends, gal-pal dates and vulnerability. I'm tired. But in the best way possible...rather the most exciting way possible. Yet in the midst of all of these wonderful new things, I've found myself holding on so tightly. I've found so much  good,  and I'm afraid of it getting away. If I can get everything I want in place first then I can let go, but once I have it, I don't want to let go because then I'll lose it. Won't I? But when has that really happened to me to the dramatic extent that I think it would? I can't really come up with a time. So in the midst of all of this mental processing, and sharing thoughts over many coffee dates, I kept hearing certain songs all over the radio, in a store and even my apartment that felt

Hello.  It's me. Over here in Colorado sipping on nitro iced coffee on tap - ermergerd. It's been a week since I officially moved to Colorado Springs, though it feels like I've been here much longer. Thank you to all of you who have reached out with encouragement and cheers and who have been so patient with me responding to emails and texts. As promised, here is just a small update of what's been going on: Mama King and I took 4 days to get out to Colorado Springs stopping in Detroit, Indianapolis, and Kansas City along the way, arriving here on Wednesday the 13th.  I got the keys to my apartment, signed some papers, unpacked the car and then we crashed at my Aunt Jody and Uncle Barry's house (THANK YOU) because there was no bed yet in my inn. Thursday mom and I spent the day running around to goodwill/walmart/dollar store etc. getting all the things we needed to set up the apartment. Friday was my first day of work and mom stayed home setting up and unpacki