Imbalance of a Klutz
There's always that moment for me before Lent where I evaluate the areas I wrestle through in my life that could use more discipline.
Like many people my age (at least I don't think I'm on my own in this), I watch way too many movies, drink too much coffee, spend too much time on my phone, eat food that's bad for me etc.
But the biggest vice I could see was how often I let other people make choices for me. Not that I let them orchestrate my every move, but I've realized how often I go to people for advice/affirmation/choices. I'd say it's part laziness, part uncertainty, a dollop of an overwhelming amount of choices and a dash of fear of failing.
The day before Lent started, I remember wearing one of my favorite scarves that had a loose string. I pulled said string and it came off. I just started wrapping it around my ring finger until it stuck, and I left it there until today as a reminder to not let people choose for me.
It sounds so silly, doesn't it?
Do you know what I think it sillier than wearing the same string on my finger for 40 days?
The fact that I needed to remind myself to be brave
to take risks
to trust in who I am
to value my opinion
This post isn't a pity party at all. I'm not feeling sorry for myself.
Just a realization in these last weeks that though I am an extremely, sometimes overly, intentional person with people that I care about, I tend to forget to keep myself in check-thinking others will do it for me.
My equilibrium is off.
Lent can't fix this.
My friends can't fix this.
I can't fix this.
It's nice to be more aware. Nice. Frustrating. Tomato. Potato.
I'm flawed. Oh so flawed. Yet, Grace abounds
So let go, my soul and trust in Him.
Like many people my age (at least I don't think I'm on my own in this), I watch way too many movies, drink too much coffee, spend too much time on my phone, eat food that's bad for me etc.
But the biggest vice I could see was how often I let other people make choices for me. Not that I let them orchestrate my every move, but I've realized how often I go to people for advice/affirmation/choices. I'd say it's part laziness, part uncertainty, a dollop of an overwhelming amount of choices and a dash of fear of failing.
The day before Lent started, I remember wearing one of my favorite scarves that had a loose string. I pulled said string and it came off. I just started wrapping it around my ring finger until it stuck, and I left it there until today as a reminder to not let people choose for me.
It sounds so silly, doesn't it?
Do you know what I think it sillier than wearing the same string on my finger for 40 days?
The fact that I needed to remind myself to be brave
to take risks
to trust in who I am
to value my opinion
This post isn't a pity party at all. I'm not feeling sorry for myself.
Just a realization in these last weeks that though I am an extremely, sometimes overly, intentional person with people that I care about, I tend to forget to keep myself in check-thinking others will do it for me.
My equilibrium is off.
Lent can't fix this.
My friends can't fix this.
I can't fix this.
It's nice to be more aware. Nice. Frustrating. Tomato. Potato.
I'm flawed. Oh so flawed. Yet, Grace abounds
So let go, my soul and trust in Him.
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